WINNER of the 2014 Rose City Comic Con Costume Competition
Warrior princess emeritus. Gallant grande dame. Has-been superhero. Retired Wonder Woman has been called all of these things but largely doesn't know it thanks to hearing loss caused by a lifetime of dodging bullets and whisking squealing, panic-stricken citizens away to safety.
Born into royalty on an island of fierce, independent women as equally renowned for their superhuman powers as their freakishly synchronous menses, Retired Wonder Woman spent her youth dreaming of becoming a TV star. But alas, when it came time to cast the lead role in a series about her life, the job went to mammarily-gifted beauty queen Lynda Carter.
One dozen rehab stints and 5,632 bingo games later, Retired Wonder Woman is back and once again ready to save the world with her quick wit, mad photobombing skills and ability to sleep standing up.
In 2017, Retired Wonder Woman made it all the way on to the America's Got Talent stage but required assistance getting off.
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